Things That Annoyed Me Today

  • The woman coughing excessively a few rows over. Please work from home and keep your swine flu to yourself
  • That I had to work for 9 hours today with the holiday weekend teasingly shaking its bum in my face
  • That people forget how to act professional and use inside voices when it’s Jeans Day.
  • There are always 900 million delivery menus scattered around the office until you actually need one
  • That the Chinese food place forgot to send Genius Boy’s order
  • That the Chinese food place put mushrooms in my chicken lo mein. I didn’t order FUNGUS lo mein
  • That the Chinese food place allowed me to order Crab Rangoons. It is their job to tell me that I will be fat and become a cat lady if I eat like that.
  • That the Crab Rangoons were so. freaking. good.
  • Megan Fox
  • My fortune cookies were totally lame. Even adding “in bed” didn’t help
  • You don’t believe me?
  • “If you wish good advice, consult your mother.”… in bed???
  • *vom vom vom*
  • That my mother would totally GIVE me advice about things regarding the bedroom
  • Danielle’s bra straps (because she told me to add that)
  • Oxygen
  • Not knowing enough synonyms for the word underwear
  • I’m still pissed at Vitamin Water.
  • That men LOVE Megan Fox
  • That I don’t have a personal ninja. It would come in really handy.
  • That the guy whose wife caused the Taconic Parkway crash that killed 8 people is STILL denying that she was drunk at the time. Time for him to shut his mouth
  • Being awake
  • The trickle of steady work that came in after every else had left the office for the holiday weekend requiring me to stay in my desk and pay attention
  • Every single effing terrible driver on the way home
  • Centipedes
  • That I will probably never write a sentence as good as the first sentence in Dean Koontz’s “Dead and Alive”
  • That I just HAD to finish reading “Catching Fire” last night and couldn’t save it to enjoy this weekend
  • That I couldn’t even come up with a good long list of things that annoyed me
  • That I’m far too lazy to find the local chapter of Underachievers Anonymous
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