Sometime in August, I decided to shake up my online dating search again by I switching to E-Disharmony. Admission: I actually tried E-Disharmony over a year ago at the very beginning of my most recent voyage into singledom. Whether I wasn’t in a good frame of mind from just going through a breakup, or wasn’t entirely sure of what I was looking for in a partner, I didn’t have good results. I went out on a couple of dates with one guy, and then decided to give it a rest.
“Whatever,” I thought. “I don’t need this. Once I just sit back and relax, Mr Wonderful is going to come waltzing along any day now. Heck, I should throw some makeup on and get to the grocery store! He’s probably there right now!”
(sidenote: He wasn’t. Nor was he there this past weekend, a year later… Doesn’t the guy need friggin food?! I don’t want my Mr Wonderful looking all like Skeletor…)
Once I made the decision to go back to online dating, I started my search with Biochemistry.com. Let it suffice to say that I was rather unhappy with the choices they were offering (layman’s terms- basement dwellers), and after a month decided to give the less-selective MisMatch.com a try. It was like the Promised Land of online dating! The guys were actually remotely attractive! And some of them seemed like they may have been socialized too! Not the ones who had headlines like “I am hot and awesome!” but, others…
Anyway, I sent out some emails, and “winked” at a few people, and waited to see where it got me.
I actually did get 2 dates relatively quickly, with Teacher Boy and Armstrong Guy. However, after the initial rush things slowed down considerably. I emailed a few times with various guys, but based upon the quality (or lack thereof) of their responses, I knew that I wasn’t interested in taking things any further with these individuals. I did spend some time “searching” the available guys in my area, but that seemed pretty limited. Based on a combination of what they’d written about themselves and physical appearance (I’m sorry, I’m shallow like that and make no apologies. I had my saintly relationship with a guy I wasn’t particularly attracted to and it DIDN’T WORK. Lesson learned.), I was feeling frustrated.
After a few visits to the site with nothing interesting, my online dating ADD kicked in again. Suddenly e-Disharmony didn’t seem so bad. Having the handy-dandy computer system go through and weed out the guys, picking out the ones that I was “compatible” with seemed like a good idea. I don’t have a ton of time, probably part of the reason I’m having trouble meeting people, and sitting around looking for people that I’m not compatible with is a waste of it. No two ways about it.
I finally sucked it up and discontinued the membership with MisMatch.com, and took the lengthy e-Disharmony opening questionnaire. I ran into an issue initially, because I’d signed up for the site with my personal email address. When I tried to re-sign up, it wanted to connect me right back to my old account (which I thought they’d DELETED, btw…). That was totally counterproductive. I’d been single for a year since then, filling my time with varied and exciting things and I’d like to think that I’ve grown and changed since filling out the questionnaire a year ago.
I solved that little quandary by using my work account to sign up, thus getting to start fresh. By the time I was finished getting my profile set up, I was exhausted and $120 poorer- hey, finding a potential husband ain’t cheap- and didn’t look at my matches in case I should be disappointed right off the bat.
This seemed like a good idea at the time. I definitely want my matches to reflect who I’ve become in the past year- a much more adventurous, secure, strong 20-something (*gag gag yak yak*) who really knows who she is and what she wants in a partner. See, last year when I first undertook online dating I was healing from getting out of a long-term relationship and still in the “ex-hating” phase. Thus, anything and everything that reminded me of him automatically got matches disqualified. I’m not saying that won’t happen now, but I may be more mature and open-minded. Just because someone is into music doesn’t mean that they’re self-obsessed and unable to recognize that I have talents of my own.
Now while at work, I’ll be sitting at work juggling my daily responsibilities, and occasionally I’ll get a cute little email alert in the corner of my screen:
“e-DisHarmony match requests communication! Congratulations, Brooke! So-and-So has reviewed your information and would like to start the process of getting to know you better!”
Like this is a shock? Come on, e-DisHarmony! My profile is a riot. Comparing myself to Megan Fox (grrr)– genius. That So-and-So wants to get to know me is inevitable. Contrary to popular belief, I do NOT need a little pat on the back that someone has deemed me cool enough to get to know. THAT is not the issue. Not all people that try online dating are socially awkward with no self-esteem. Actually… maybe I have a little too much self-esteem. That could definitely be part of the issue.
In any event, I’ve commited myself to sticking out the 3 months that I signed up for on e-Disharmony. Updates to come…