This Actually Happened. Sort Of.

(scene- Insurance Company, Central PA. 9:35am. A young woman of average height, with dark hair, wearing cream cable knit sweater and navy pants approaches the vending machine in the cafeteria)

(As she does, the Vending Machine Guy – a middle-aged man, medium height with dirty blonde hair and a few days worth of stubble, begins to open the vending machine. He pulls out a soda, and starts to close it up again.)

Brooke (thinking): great, I’ll just wait a second and then I’ll be able to get my bottled water.

Vending Machine Guy: Did you need to get in here?

Brooke: Oh, it’s fine! I can wait a minute.

VMG: What did you need? (opens machine)

Brooke: Um, a bottled water?

(He takes one, hands it to Brooke.)

VMG: Here you go.

Brooke: Oh, here- (offers money)

VMG: Nah, it’s a sample

Brooke: Are you sure??

VMG: Yup, no biggie.

Brooke: Money?

VMG: Nope

Brooke: Moooooney?

VMG: Uh uh

Brooke: Yes?

VMG: Sexual favors later.

Brooke: Eeek.

(throws water and runs)

Ok. it didn’t happen exactly like that. More like I said “thank you” a lot and walked away quickly. But I still worry there are strings attached.


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