One weekend somewhat recently, Lawyer Boy and I were texting. He was being supportive after the letdown of Armstrong Guy. In fact, he’s dealing with his own dating messes. Since his last breakup in February, he’s gone out with a number of girls who have then told him that they only wanted to be friends, or were leery of dating law students.
His latest Flavor of the Month started things out fast and furious, then backed off saying that she “wanted to be friends first.” He was completely miffed by this behavior, but figured it couldn’t hurt to take things slowly. Fast forward two weeks and they’re basically back where they started, and again she’s reiterating that she doesn’t want to be in a relationship. And instead of getting the shits of it, he’s eating it up. What the heck!?
Note to self: Be more of a bitch.
Anyway, in times of dating drought, we casually joke that we should just hook up and get it over with. It’s entirely in jest, but makes text conversations pretty humorous.
LB: Great. The thought of sex with me is so boring that you fell asleep last night.
Brooke: Haha, sorry. If I thought you were remotely serious I may have stayed awake
LB: Why do you think I wasn’t?
Brooke: Because you’re dating someone
LB: But she said I can see other people.
Brooke: (with a spanish accent)… I do not think that means what you think it means.
LB: What does it mean then?
Brooke: Not “put your penis in other people,” that’s for sure.
LB: She never said I couldn’t.
LB: And hey, if she won’t commit to a relationship, that’s her fault, not mine.
Brooke: You do have a point.
LB: So we’re going to have sex?
Brooke: No… I think we should pretend we had sex.
Brooke: I’ll write on your wall “Hey LB, thanks for the awesome sex!” and she’ll get jealous.
LB: Hmmm… no, I think we should actually have sex.
Brooke: No. She might get really mad at that.
Brooke: This way, we can be all “Hey, we were just kidding. Get it!?”
LB: That’s a stupid idea.
Brooke: You’ll thank me later.
A week later they were “exclusive.” Yeah, what’s that, Lawyer Boy?