“Grace” is my middle name.

This one would have to fall under the “Things that Piss Me Off” category. But it’s not directed at another person (for once. SHOCKING!), but more at myself. I apparently cannot wear shoes with any kind of heel. Today, I decided to wear my uber-comfy Born wedges because I was wearing long pants and didn’t want them dragging the ground all day. I got up mid-day to head to the café for more water and to hit the ladies room, and was feeling kinda sexy with the extra inches that my shoes added to my height.

Just as I’m doing my best Heidi Klum (wearing clothes) through the rows of cubicles, my shoe randomly falls sideways in a nonexistent whole in the floor and my ankle goes with it. There was a moment of awkward stumblage, pondering whether in fact I would actually go all the way down on my ass, but I settled for stomping my now bare foot into the carpet to save my balance. I tried to do this all in a suave manner, but there was a guy walking right behind me so there’s at least one person that witnessed my inability to walk.

I. Hate. That.

I mean, I bought these adorable and insanely comfortable wedges. And I purposely chose and wore these shoes today, but I can’t even operate them for the short walk to the loo. They should make training wheels for heels.  Why is it that Miley Cyrus and Dakota Fanning, who are about 20 years younger than I, can manage miniskirts and stilettos and I am stuck with flats? Where’s the justice in that? I could comfort myself by saying “They’ll have nastyass crooked feet someday…” But by that point nobody really cares what your feet look like anyway. Unless it’s someone with a foot fetish that notices that kind of thing.


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