~Multiple times a day, you think “I am so blogging this.”
~The blogs that you read daily have totally taken over your ‘favorites’ list
~You must read all of them, every day, in a particular order.
~Or maybe that’s just OCD.
~You begin to completely lose your inhibitions and have no problem telling all of the Internets about your boyfriend’s boner
~Or the time when you were buying a Trojan Vibrating Ring on the recommendation of a Friend and an old woman was standing at the pharmacy totally judging you
~The pharmacist was totally judging you too. Or thinking “Damn, bow chicka wow wow.”
~And you actually considered grabbing a pregnancy test instead because it made you feel less slutty.
~Your boyfriend actually thinks it’s COOL that you write about him and asks when you are going to tell the world about how he is in bed instead of talking about his “personality”
~Not happening, AB.
~You use your “blog friends” as examples in real life scenarios before you realize “oh right. They probably don’t know I’m alive and boy is that creepy.”
~You can name all of your “blog friends’” children and significant others. By their blog-code names or real names, whichever applies.
~And boy is that also creepy.
~You get on and post even after going to the doctor for a migraine
~And getting two shots in the ass that leave you so doped up that you’re talking to floating pink tweed bunny rabbits
~Because MUST TELL THE INTERNETS FUNNY STORY!
~Then when you sign off, you text yourself because you realize that you actually have a serious blogging addition
~And must remember to blog about it when the drugs wear off.
~Vicious Catch-22, that is.
~Ps- Totally still seeing floating pink tweed bunny rabbits. Sleep now.