Reasons That I Cannot Blog Today

~I lost a substantial number of brain cells seeing “New Moon” yesterday.

~People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive 2009” issue is on my desk right now. Too much deliciousness, not enough time to read it.

~I managed to seriously injure my foot WHILE WALKING this weekend. Making more walking, driving and blogging difficult.

~No seriously, Army Boy was there and saw it. I have a witness. The transition from carpet to flooring is difficult, people.

~I haven’t been to the doctor. Because I don’t think it’s broken. And what would they do for a busted big-toe anyway?

~I just coughed and it sounded suspiciously like Swine Flu.

~I ordered some things from Victoria’s Secret online. PJ type things. But still the utter sexiness of the women modeling said pjs was enough to make me feel completely inadequate.

~Seriously. I didn’t even LOOK at the lingerie because who wants to be held up to that type of standard?

~”Look at me, I’m Heidi Klum and my body is perfect for bearing children and then snapping back to runway ready shape after six measly weeks! But no pressure people!”

~ What if I’d gotten the idea that some of said lingerie would be a good idea to purchase for myself? And then immediately regretted it after seeing that women with hips should not wear certain things, and only people with the bodies of 12-year-old boys should?

~Oh, but I got about 3 discounts and saved $40 and free shipping, so that is A LOT to accomplish. I needed a break after that.

~I also made decisions on a couple of Christmas gifts for Army Boy and his family.

~Did I mention People’s “Sexiest Man Alive” issue? With pictures of Ryan Reynolds and Gilles Marini and other hotness? Nom.

~Three Mile Island had a radiation leak this weekend. Am afraid for my reproductive parts.

~Our computer system at work bit the big one last Friday, causing the work to massively pile up and requiring that I work from home last night (yes, SUNDAY) to clean up the mess.

~The Other didn’t assist in said cleanup.

~The Holiday Week has driven Mom to new heights of cleaning frenzy, and every inch of the house is being gone over with a toothbrush and being subjected to the white glove test.

~Holiday Week is also responsible for Drama. Relatives love to drive each other crazy.

~Holiday Week and Cleaning Frenzy of Doom = no time to spend with Adorable Man Candy Boyfriend

~No Time with AMCB = Cranky Brooke

~Random Foot Injury From Walking = Cranky Brooke

~Possibly Irradiated Reproductive System = Cranky Brooke

~So There. That is why I cannot blog today.


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