1: Number of houses we toured last night kicking off House Hunt 2010
1: Number of houses out of our price range that we toured last night
5: Number of houses we are going to see TOMORROW
3: Average number of those houses that I will probably LOVE because I am a fickle woman
15: Approximate number of hours in the last couple of days I’ve spent browsing online home listings
2: Pages to the “anal retentive type-a spreadsheet” I typed up this morning to aid me in being thorough during house walk-throughs
17,394: Times I have listened to the new songs that I have to learn for my gig in 2 weeks
17394: Times I have NOT ABSORBED anything
685.3: Number of times I’ve wondered why the hell I’m trying to learn “Ain’t Nobody Here,” which is about chickens. No seriously. Not a metaphor anything like love or life… It’s literally about chickens. And hatching eggs. WTF.
75: Number of times I’ve pondered why the band director seems to always give me the songs that have the big blues breakdown… aka “the stripper sound.”
75: Number of times this has not bothered me.
39: Number of pages I am into “Nanny Returns.” Because I am a lousy quitter taking a little break from “The Shadow of the Wind,” which is an amazing read but tough to get through.
Eleventy-million: Times during the last week I have alternated from really excited, to terrified, to STRESSED OUT OMFG and back.
1: Good, old fashioned “SNAP OUTTA IT” talks I got from my mother
5: Optimistically, the number of pounds I have gained since the holidays started
3: New Recipes I tried last weekend, including Emeril’s Spicy Crap Dip, Gnocchi with creamy gorgonzola sauce and Pioneer Woman’s Monkey Bread recipe
.5: Number of minutes it took for me to realize that I am not a fan of Gorgonzola. Feetsmellfeetsmellewwww!
30: Minutes Monkey Bread takes to cook
2: Minutes Monkey Bread takes to devour.
10: Whatever bitches. Probably more realistic number of pounds. Comprised mostly of Cheetos and other crazy salty bad-for-you foods I’ve consumed lately
Infinity: Number of times I will avoid that dirty whore scale in the bathroom
27: Times in the last week I’ve asked myself why the hell I commit to too many things at once, knowing that doing exactly that makes me a KAH-RAZY HARPY!
6: Times I have told myself “This is a poor excuse for an entry.”
1: Times I will hit “Publish” anyway.
More of substance coming soon, Internet Loves.