In Which I Spontaneously Both Grow Up…and Turn Into my Mother

Everyone warns that this day will come. The day where you say something, or do something and are struck with the lightning bolt of realization that you are turning into your mother. It’s just an unavoidable fact of life. No matter how you run, fight it, or try anything in your power to alter your course, it’s useless.

One day, you will be wandering around, buying supplies for your new home, and you will look at your boyfriend in horror because you just bought white towels.

White. Towels.

A couple of years back, my mother made the decision that having all white towels and facecloths for the bathroom was classy and thus a good idea. And I gave her all manner of hell about it.

“White towels? Do you know how stupid that is? They are just going to get dirty and stained.”

“You don’t use them when you’re dirty, Brooke. You use them when you get out of the shower and are clean.”

“Dad is a dirty man and does dirty man work and is going to come home and wash his dirty man hands and then dry them on your stupid white towels, and I will LAUGH as you nag at him. Because you bought the stupid. White. Towels.” (Yeah, am insufferable brat. I’m aware of this.)

This weekend, Army Boy and I were out shopping for the many, many things that we need to be ready to move in to the new house. Though to be fair, we’d be scrambling just as much to be ready to move into an apartment. We are rather screwed on the practical possessions front, but that means more shopping for me. Woo!

We were slightly haphazard in our buying this weekend, figuring we’d knock out a few big obvious items (Silverware! Living room set! Towels!) before settling down to the detail-oriented nitty-gritty of shopping for the kitchen, etc.

As I stood before the glorious Mecca of colorful towels in a Random Big Department Store, I heard the following words come out of my mouth:

“Since our bathroom is so GREEN…. Maybe we should stick with white?”

Oooooh the shame!!! *head in hands*

It's not easy being green.

Like many homes built in the 1950s, we got an Easter Egg-hued bathroom of a particularly springy green with black accents. I can include a picture, but for some reason it looks less violent in the lighting. In the interest of not clashing with EVERYTHING EVER, we’ve basically agreed to keep it simple with accessories in white, black and chrome/stainless.

While we are by no means finished outfitting the bathroom, we did leave the store that day with two fresh sets of white towels. Setting me up for the ridicule of my future children in years to come. AWESOME.

For the last couple of weeks I’ve been constantly on the phone handling all of the various tasks that need to be completed before settlement. After one lengthy conversation with the mortgage company, I walked over to the cube next door and leaned my head against the wall.

“Genius Boy, when did I become an adult??”

He gave a little laugh, and replied “Last weekend, when your offer was accepted.”

I had to shake my head a little because he was right. It seems like everything up to this point has been leading to this culmination of buying my first home. All the life experience has prepared me for the patience and persistence necessary to make phone calls, compare rates, and get answers that we need right now.

Army Boy has been amazing, patient and supportive. We’re so much on the same page with everything, it’s ridiculous.

I really expected that at some point in this process I would become completely overwhelmed and lose my shit, but it hasn’t happened yet. *knocks wood*


3 thoughts on “In Which I Spontaneously Both Grow Up…and Turn Into my Mother

  1. I get that completely. My husband is not one for details at all so I was the one who gathered all our pay histories, our insurance, our this and our that, did all the communication with the seller and the mortgage company, hired the home inspector and at some point I was just like “WHOA! Who AM I?!?”

    Hey. Question. Why is the one section of tile higher than all the rest of it? Is it higher all around the shower? Just curious.

  2. Not truly your mom unless you have a kid who you find yourself chastising and you suddenly stop midsentence because you swear your mother just took over your body and spoke right through you. It.Is.Mortifying!

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