One of the things that really attracted me to Army Boy right away was his bluntly honest desire to have a family. He’s two years older than I, and thought that he was already on the right track to achieving this. Yanno, with the whole “being in a relationship for 6 years” and the whole “getting married”…
After the ring went on, his Ex cruelly informed him that she had no desire to have children, as she’d promised when they were dating, and that she planned to spend the next few years “partying with her girls.” That is not something you get out of your system before getting married, you see. Or that you impart to your partner before you take that step so that he’ll be ready for you to spend hours at a time getting hoochied up so that you can go out WITHOUT HIM every weekend.
Sorry. Tangent. (Can you tell that I want to pull her stupid hair sometimes?)
When it became clear that “Hey, this might be something serious,” we talked honestly about our respective desire for marriage, family, etc.
He informed me, completely unexpectedly, that he really wants a little girl. I pressed for reasons why, thinking that he grew up with 2 brothers and didn’t want a stinky boy household, or that he’s a complete softy and can’t wait to spoil her.
“I’m not sure. I just picture myself having a daughter.”
This thrills me to no end, I have to say. I’ve always wanted girls, just because the thought of boys and their little spraying penises terrifies me to no end. WHAT. It’s the truth. And then having to experience various boy-related things over the years… “No, we can’t take our penis out at the grocery store… No, we can’t play with our ding-dong in church…Please stop setting your sister on fire…” You know.
Girls are sweet and soft and pink and I can dress them in tutus and play house with them. I know that as soon as they turn 8 they will start hating me for ruining their lives OMG, but until then, it’ll be totally worth it.
Of course, at this rate my ovaries are yelling at me to just GET BUSY ALREADY, WOMAN! And I know that I’ll be thrilled no matter what.
Now that we’ve moved into the house, it would be lying to say that our families aren’t circling like vultures, waiting for us to “make it official.” We’re planning on that, after we’ve had time to adjust to living with each other and have saved some more money.
Eating dinner the other night, I let him know that my mom had been dropping another round of “I Want Grandbabies” hints. I guess you can’t really call them hints when she refuses to call the Guest Room “the guest room” and instead refers to it as “the nursery.”
“Why do you want those color curtains for The Nursery? Don’t you want to start planning a neutral room?”
It’s fun to sit at the table in the kitchen, and talk about where we see ourselves heading in the next few years. There is so much good stuff sitting on the horizon, waiting for us to be ready and head toward it.
The topic of kids is one we like to casually toss out every now and then, whether we’ve heard a creative baby name or a horror story from one of our friends or family members. We were discussing a cousin’s new baby boy, and Army Boy asked “So, is _______ still our first choice for a girl name?”
“I think so, but we’ll have to see what gets trendy in the next year or so. I might have to change my mind.” Yes. Am a non-conformist who cannot bear to name her child whatever might be the next “Katie” or “Jennifer”.
“Is it awful that I really hope for a girl?” he asked thoughtfully.
“Not at all. There are even ways of making it more likely that we’d have one.”
“Really?? Like what?”
“Erm…” I paused momentarily, only being vaguely aware of these measures myself. “I know there are certain positions that are supposed to be more effective for the female sperm. And douching, I think.”
He pondered that for a minute, and his eyes brightened.
“What they really should do is just make a little ‘Lowes’ sign to put in there. That’ll distract all the boys while the girls shoot by like ‘Suckahz!’”
He might have a point.