In the Spirit of Home Improvement

This weekend, Dad and Army Boy are going to tackle the ginormous problem of our plumbing. The first week we were in the house, we had some issues with water coming up through the floor in the basement, which I am told is a “bad sign.” We were able to have the warranty company come out and take care of the problem, bang boom done.

A couple of weeks later, our sink thought that draining was for losers, and started backing up, making our kitchen smell like stinky feet soup. We attacked with Drano, boiling water, and finally a plumbing snake before we decided “Screw it, we’ve owned the house for a month and have a warranty. They need to take care of this too.”

Here’s the tricky thing about warranties- they will provide whatever is a “quick fix.” The guy came out and offered to snake the sink and we politely informed him that we’d done that already. The house is older, and has galvanized pipes that have corroded to the point of barely being functional. In my mind, this was AN EXISTING CONDITION, which the builder who renovated the house must have been aware of, and should be covered. My logical thinking does not apply to warranties, though. Perhaps our warranty just sucks donkey balls, because to actually fix the issue (again- existing problem) would be totally out of our pocket.

Fortunately, Dad is really good with home improvement, and feels that he and Army Boy should be able to tackle this job on their own. Please send good thoughts of amateur plumbing competence my way.


Danielle [9:59 AM]:

Lowes is close [to our house] too

but we never buy anything small enough to carry

Brooke [10:00 AM]:

hehe, that’s the problem with Lowes

Danielle [10:00 AM]:

Seth is best friends with Lowes.

Brooke [10:00 AM]:

Army Boy is cheating on me with Lowes

he gets home and I smell fertilizer on his clothes

and I just know

Danielle [10:00 AM]:

I get home and the door knobs have been changed, and I know


I’ve seen “LOVE NOTES” from lowes

Brooke [10:01 AM]:


that WHORE

*flips table*


6 thoughts on “In the Spirit of Home Improvement

    • “What? You need a haircut?! Looks like we’re going to Lowes!”

      “That doesn’t even WORK, AB.”

  1. My husband has been having an affair with Home Depot since before I met him. Good luck with the plumbing issues. Sadly I fear you will need it. And. Lots of vodka.

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