The Real Housewabbits of Central PA

(Scene: The kitchen at La Casa. Brooke, on a rare domestic impulse, is making lemon squares.)


 Brooke: (looking directly at camera) Don’t worry. They’re from a box. (Takes a gulp of wine)

 Army Boy: (from living room) Why is our front lawn a den of iniquity?

 Brooke: (walking into the other room) Since when do you use phrases like “den of anything”?

 Army Boy: It’s a direct result of living in sin.

 Brooke: Ah cool, got it. And why are we asking questions about iniquity?

 Army Boy: (Points out picture window.) Look.

Any second, he's going to go all "Monty Python..."

 Brooke: What the hell. Are we in freakin’ Yellowstone?

 Army Boy: It’s laying down. Eating.

 Brooke: Clearly it has lost its preservation instinct. It might be rabid. Or a Zombie. Stay in the house.

 Army Boy: No more wine.

 Brooke: Shutup. But seriously. Look at that sloppy little bunny whore. It’s reclining on its Bed of Sluttosity.

 Army Boy: Is that… a word?

 Brooke: Yes. Look it up.

 Army Boy: I would, but I’m transfixed by the Lazy Rabbit Whore.

 Brooke: It’s almost as bad as getting sucked into “Real Housewives of Anywhere” marathons on Bravo.

 Army Boy: Rabbit Whore’s face is moving a lot more than any of the New Jersey women’s do.

 Brooke: Good point. (drinks more wine)

(End Scene.)

Only LOOKS soft and fluffy


One thought on “The Real Housewabbits of Central PA

  1. Bwahahaha…..don’t be fooled by that pure white tail, it’s clearly been around the block. Too funny!!! Wine + lemon squares, please do let me know how that turned out. 🙂

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