Against The Grain

Since becoming officially engaged a matter of weeks ago, I’ve been inundated with all of the “things that I should be doing.”

I signed up for, started my wedding checklist, subscribed to two wedding magazines, and bought some planning books on Amazon.

I’ve bookmarked scads of bridal blogs, looking for any suggestions on invitations, neat décor ideas, and ways to have a fabulous wedding without going into debt.

We do have our venue, and our official “date.”

We’ve decided on a Maid of Honor and Best Man, and figured out who the best officiant could be for our kind of wedding.

I should be choosing colors, a theme, and a bridal party (if we’re even going to go that route.)

I should be poring over pages and pages of dresses, getting ready to start shopping.

I should be contacting my top choices in photographers, to see about pricing and scheduling an engagement session.

I should be contacting my DJ, who I’ve known since before Army Boy re-entered my life.

This weekend, though, we spent a couple of hours looking at wedding bands. We discussed what we each had in mind, and tried to get a clear picture of what we wanted. Then, we went to a local jeweler who my dad and mom have always visited, and who some of my favorite pieces are from.

We spoke to the salesgirl, and she pointed us in the direction of exactly what we wanted.

You’re advised to wait until closer to your wedding date to buy wedding bands, as you could gain or lose weight between the time you purchase them and your wedding day.

Even though there are so many things that we should be doing, we walked out of there with the knowledge that we’d have our bands within a week or so. We were ridiculously happy. We mutually agreed that there was very little about our “big day” more important than the promise that we were going to be making to each other, and the symbol of that.

I marvel that Army Boy, who had such a rotten experience the first time around, is ready to step forward unhesitatingly and try again. He says he’d do it tomorrow.

We’re both ready to start doing all the things that we “should be” taking care of, and can smile at the knowledge that doing things a little “out of order” has always worked for us so far. Why should we start doing things any other way?


12 thoughts on “Against The Grain

  1. ExACTly. Chill. Do things the way you normally would. Weddings should NOT be stressful. A friend of mine was a basketcase for an entire year trying to plan the “perfect” wedding. She had a terrible time at it and barely remembers the day because she was so stressed.

    Ehub and I fly by the seat of our pants most of the time and that’s how we got married too. We planned the entire thing in one week, I went out shopping for an afternoon with a friend and bought a dress off the rack, and we got married in a lovely ceremony with just a few friends and family. Even the dog was there.

    So don’t put that pressure on yourselves (or take it from anyone else) about what you *should* be doing. Enjoy the ride!

    • I absolutely love the sound of that. So laid-back and impromptu. The headbutting is already starting here…. I’d like to avoid it if at all possible. 😛

  2. Oh, and I like your header image.
    And I like your header subtitle too, although really – the blog should be whatever you happen to be in the middle of right now. Right?

  3. Rest assured, some of us out here don’t mind reading about some of your wedding stuff. I won’t stop reading what you’re up to just ’cause your last three posts have been about how stupid caterers can be. 🙂

    I think you guys are taking the right approach and will have a wonderful day to remember as a result. The perfect centerpiece is not what makes a wedding memorable. The love of the two folks it’s about are. Here’s to you and Army Boy and lots of happiness! 🙂

    • Thanks Cristy… I just want to be careful that my writing doesn’t devolve into waaah waah picked on brideypants… 😉

  4. You shouldn’t! 🙂 Anything goes with weddings these days! And with Scott having such difficulty choosing a date due to Amber’s health, when we finally did choose, I was worried because selecting our venues, etc. was outside of the “normal” time ranges. BUT everything has worked out, & so from one bride-to-be to another, feel free to march to the beat of your own drum!

    • You’re talking to the girl who liked to dress up as a hotdog sophomore year… are you sure you want to say that? 😉

      • Yes, yes I am. There’s nothing more I’d like to see than you coming down the aisle “hotdog style” in a white sheet. 😉 hehehe

  5. First off, congrats on your engagement! I really enjoy reading your blog (happened on it from reading parsingnonsense).

    It’s so ridiculously easy to get lost in the shoulds and forget what it is you actually want to do. Two books helped me keep my wedding costs down and reminded me that the day should be about us as a couple rather than what couples are supposed to be: Priceless Weddings for Under $5000, and Offbeat Bride: Creative Alternatives for Independent Brides. Offbeat Bride has a website too ( offering a nice place to drool over weddings that don’t look like the ones in everysingleweddingmagazineever.

    • Hi Tina! (and welcome!)

      I’ve just started reading “wedding blogs” now that we’re actually planning, I’ll have to check those out! Thanks!

  6. Sounds like! I went really against the grain and didn’t do any of that. I did have a bouquet and my mom wore a white dress–which was a little weird, but whatever… Good luck planning it all. I think the most important thing is to have fun doing whatever you do. If it is stressful, what is the point?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s