Damn all these celebrities lately and their need for privacy. First Harrison Ford and Callista run off and secretly get hitched, denying us all the eye candy that WE DESERVE, DAMMIT, but apparently Orlando Bloom thought that was a stellar idea and had a secret wedding of his own.
And then nerds all over the world did wistfully sigh that their favorite blonde, blue-eyed kickass elf/swarthy swashbuckling hero had taken himself off the market.
With a Victoria’s Secret model. (BITCH.)
*Eats a Twinkie as a toast to the happy couple*
I did what any self-respecting Tolkein/Jackson fan would do, and took to Twitter to lament the tragedy.
I posted this:
And went on my slightly-less-merry way.
Later that afternoon, I remembered that I had a post scheduled, and went back on Twitter to pimp myself out be obnoxious kindly remind my friends that I had somehow been unexpectedly prolific, and they should check it out.
And I got this:
I have to assume, given my vast Twitter knowledge, that my melodramatic #endtimes hashtag had caused a Twitter-bot response. And that said twitter-bot wanted to comfort me as the end times brought about by Legolas’ marriage came around, and care for my immortal soul.
I don’t know exactly what part of the scenario is more frightening to me. That someone programmed a Twitter-bot to respond to an #endtimes hastag… or that said Twitter-bot has atrocious grammar, makes very little sense, and will definitely confirm anyone’s crazy suspicion that the WORLD IS ENDING.
(If by “world” you mean “middle earth.”)(Yeah, I went there.)