Just When You Thought You Were Safe From The Chain Letters….

… along came chain comments on Facebook.

“Oh Brooke,” you’re laughing. “Those are just a bunch of bullshit thought up by nerds in their basement drinking Mountain Dew and smoking a bunch of weed. You’re not honestly scared about them, are you?”

Yes. I fucking am.

Also, stop laughing.

A: I probably nearly dated half of those basement-dwelling nerds after my disastrous online dating experience.

B: It has already been well established that I am one of the biggest wusses in the universe. So yes, I am scared.

Thanks to the lovely folks at Snopes, most urban legends can be quickly dismissed. Unless they’re too new for the Snopes folks to have debunked them… Or unless they’re TRUE.

Backstory: I was clicking along on Facebook this afternoon when I noticed a peculiar comment on the status of a local organization I follow. It began:

“IF YOU HAVE STARTED READING THIS YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD SO YOU SHOULD KEEP READING SUCKAH…”

It then went on to tell the story of some kid abandoned in a haunted house by his friends who ended up DEAD, and then came back and killed them all “Ring”-style. Then it listed examples (“This gurl was only 13 years old…”) . THEN it informed me that if I didn’t share the comment (“seven days…”) with 11 people, this kid would come and kill me at 10:35 pm.

Obviously he is an elderly killer comment ghost, as he’s getting to bed at around the same time that Army Boy and I are generally passing out.

Since I am generally neurotic enough without the fear of a serial killer breaking into my first story house and killing me where I slept, I debated. I paced. I realized that I was totally out of my emergency happy-pills that would help me sleep in just such a situation. I consulted Snopes.com…. and then I totally gave in and spammed some poor innocent fan pages.

Much to the delight of The Yezel. And Army Boy.

They’re just lucky I didn’t spam them as well.

(“seven days…”)

(Yes, that damn movie kept me up until 6am the night after watching it because I’m an incurable optimist that thinks she’ll somehow grow out of the fear of scary movies. And who’s seriously afraid of a creepy chick in need of a deep-conditioning treatment that climbs out of tvs anyway?)

(*twitch, twitch*)

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7 thoughts on “Just When You Thought You Were Safe From The Chain Letters….

  1. One of the things so annoying about facebook now is that people can create whatever shit pages they want and then other people “like” them. The annoying part is that they are at least an entire sentence long and then full of grammatical attrocities, like this beauty: “Friendship isn’t about whom you’ve know the longest. It’s about who came, and never left your side. ” it should be “known” and I am very surprised that they didn’t write “you’re side”. Why do you feel the need to officially like this on facebook anyway… stop taking up my “news” feed!

    …end rant…

  2. Hey, snopes.com hardly ever lets me down. That was the first time…and on that note…”They’re coming to get you, [Brooke].”

    P.S. I’m not sure if you will get that quote since its from ‘Night of the Living Dead’ 1968, again in 1990, and finally they say it in SHAUN OF THE DEAD…(oh, how I heart Shaun of the Dead). 😉

  3. I learned a very long time ago that I cannot watch scary movies or go into “Haunted Houses” at amusement parks. Just can’t.

    Chain letters? Not a phobia of mine, though I’ve never gotten any that started out that harsh.

  4. Huh, I, too, found The Ring creepy, but only because the scary girl looked so dang…Wet, and pale, and the video images were disjointed and the whole thing made me want to spend a week on the beach in Mexico. As an affirmation of life. And an affirmation of margaritas.

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