… along came chain comments on Facebook.
“Oh Brooke,” you’re laughing. “Those are just a bunch of bullshit thought up by nerds in their basement drinking Mountain Dew and smoking a bunch of weed. You’re not honestly scared about them, are you?”
Yes. I fucking am.
Also, stop laughing.
A: I probably nearly dated half of those basement-dwelling nerds after my disastrous online dating experience.
B: It has already been well established that I am one of the biggest wusses in the universe. So yes, I am scared.
Thanks to the lovely folks at Snopes, most urban legends can be quickly dismissed. Unless they’re too new for the Snopes folks to have debunked them… Or unless they’re TRUE.
Backstory: I was clicking along on Facebook this afternoon when I noticed a peculiar comment on the status of a local organization I follow. It began:
“IF YOU HAVE STARTED READING THIS YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD SO YOU SHOULD KEEP READING SUCKAH…”
It then went on to tell the story of some kid abandoned in a haunted house by his friends who ended up DEAD, and then came back and killed them all “Ring”-style. Then it listed examples (“This gurl was only 13 years old…”) . THEN it informed me that if I didn’t share the comment (“seven days…”) with 11 people, this kid would come and kill me at 10:35 pm.
Obviously he is an elderly killer comment ghost, as he’s getting to bed at around the same time that Army Boy and I are generally passing out.
Since I am generally neurotic enough without the fear of a serial killer breaking into my first story house and killing me where I slept, I debated. I paced. I realized that I was totally out of my emergency happy-pills that would help me sleep in just such a situation. I consulted Snopes.com…. and then I totally gave in and spammed some poor innocent fan pages.
Much to the delight of The Yezel. And Army Boy.
They’re just lucky I didn’t spam them as well.
(Yes, that damn movie kept me up until 6am the night after watching it because I’m an incurable optimist that thinks she’ll somehow grow out of the fear of scary movies. And who’s seriously afraid of a creepy chick in need of a deep-conditioning treatment that climbs out of tvs anyway?)