In Which I Am SERIOUSLY NOT PREGGO

Geeeez, lately I feel like every post I’m apologizing about how it has no “cohesive idea,” but is a potpourri of wrapping up of ideas from the week before.

Screw that.

But, yes, I’m doing it again.

This past week I found myself unexpectedly swamped with work as I filled in for yet another coworker who ditched us for the week to take a honeymoon. I know, the nerve of some people. It had the fortunate effect of making the week fly by, and before I knew it, it was Halloween weekend.

We were well aware of the fact that we’ve moved into an “older neighborhood” (meaning both the approximate age of the homes and the people residing in said homes), but at no time was it more apparent than this past Friday. I rushed home from work, eager to get outside and set up my “trick or treat” station* and greet the little costumed visitors that we were expecting. We set up our front step with chairs, and candles, made some hot chocolate…

….and waited…..

…..and waited some more….

Well, you get the drift.

Our entire block was dark (the Universal signal for “We Hate You and Will Not Give Candy, You Little Punks”), save our house and the house across the street. We saw groups of children walk by on the next street over, but most of the traffic avoided us. I gave it an hour of sitting out in the rapidly chilling air, then called it a night and went to get myself knocked up.

Maybe I should repharase that- “get my costume on, which gave me the appearance of being knocked up.” Army Boy and I were invited to two Halloween parties this year, which gave us an unprecedented opportunity to be social two whole evenings in a row. As such, we started to rack our brains at the beginning of the month for amusing costume ideas. After much deliberation, and some prodding from Ben Folds, we decided that we were dead ringers (only not) for Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin.

Observe:

See? Clearly, I am a model of abstinence advocacy.

We thought we were hilarious, some people didn’t get it, and one guy actually decided that I was legitimately pregnant, causing some party guests to ask when I was due. You will be proud to know that I refrained from calling him an asshat in his presence  and flashed any doubters my faux bump. Army Boy came up with the idea to cleverly construct it with a towel and some Ace Bandages, and it was more convincing than one would think. Hell, I was sick of being pregnant after wearing it for only ten minutes and attempting to get my seatbelt on.

In addition to our two parties, we also managed to put in two days of work on our Fence Project (which is part of the reason for my recent writer’s block- I’m sure you all don’t want to know that I’m sooooo tired after working all day and then working on the fence and Army Boy keeps falling asleep wicked early waaaahh), and did all of our other various weekend chores. Oh, and I raked the yard AND made both Blueberry Boy Bait and Pumpkin Whoopie Pies.

Then I fell asleep, the end.

Sunday, we finally got to visit our puppy for the first time. The boys turned 3 weeks old today, and Ivy is starting to relax about letting visitors in. We bribed her with plenty of treats at first, and our breeder warned us not to expect to be able to touch the little guys yet. Ivy seemed to have other ideas, though, as she gallivanted around the room being the entertainer, and seemingly didn’t notice when the breeder passed each of us a puppy.

Oh yes, I got my fix.

They’re still tiny and look (according to the breeder, and I’m forced to agree) like little manatees, but they’ve quadrupled their weight since birth and are showing interesting predictions of what their eventual coloring will be like. I’ve never been around pups quite this young, and couldn’t get over their teensy toenails and little toothless gums. They walk a little, like drunken sailors, but mostly spend their time crawling and draping themselves over each other. And of course, the puppy breath. There’s nothing like it, and it’s hard to describe to someone who hasn’t experienced it- Army Boy finally got to enjoy it for the first time.

As he unabashedly stated, “If I wasn’t sold before, I’m a goner now.” I’m forced to agree.

We haven’t officially picked our boy yet, and it will probably be 2 more weeks before we get a good idea of what they’re going to look like full-grown, but I think we’ve narrowed it down to a field of two. I have a personal favorite, but he also seems like he may be the most energetic of the three (aka “a challenge”), and only time will tell. For now, I’ve got Mommy brain and am unable to think of much else.

In still more news, I got a call last week that my wedding dress has arrived. This weekend, we’re having a huge Fence Day with the men (Army Boy, our two Dads and Brother J) pitching in to get the pickets hung, and the women are going to escape to pick up my gown. I extended the invitation to Army Boy’s mom, not wanting her to be the only one excluded from the occasion. I think it could be a fun afternoon for the three of us to share.

As if I needed further distraction currently, this is my last official week in my job. Next Monday, I’ll be making a lateral move into a new department, one that will hopefully challenge me more and keep me busy on a daily basis. PLUS our company has decided that it would be a good idea for our pharmacy department to move from the area we have occupied since I started with the company to another, grungier location. So: changing jobs, and packing up everything in my cube to prepare for a move. Wedding dress, preggo weekend, puppy breath, completely crippled from yard work… yup, that about covers it for today.

*- PA is one of the strange states that dictates what night Trick-or-Treating will be held on. Most people suggest that it is an attempt to control “Halloween vandalism,” the rest of us think it’s just stupid. If kids are going to smash a pumpkin or knock down a mailbox, they’ll do it regardless of what night Trick-or-Treat is held on.

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2 thoughts on “In Which I Am SERIOUSLY NOT PREGGO

    • Thanks Jessica!! Glad you enjoyed them. I think I need to attend more Interwebs costume parties. People on here “get” me. 😉

      Yes! We’ll be getting our little boy sometime in the beginning of December, we can’t wait! Once we had a definite timeline of “Oh hey, we’re going to try for kids (on this date)”, I was like “whoa, so not ready!” A fur child is a good way to warm up to parenting for both of us, I think.

      Thanks for stopping over!

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