Scenes From the Bedroom: The Fact That This is Only Funny to Us Doesn’t Make Me Want to Post it Less.

(Scene: The Casa Bedroom, Night.)

Brooke: You know what really irks me?

Army Boy: What?

Brooke: When someone breaks my totally-imaginary Work Bathroom Rules.

Army Boy: Is this one of those things that’s going to make me even more frightened of your brain?

Brooke: Probably.

AB: Ok, explain.

Brooke: (Launches into long-winded explanation of said imaginary Work Bathroom Rules, complete with Powerpoint.*)

AB: (after listening sympathetically) Imagine how I feel with only ONE stall at work.

Brooke: Wow. One stall multipled by the number of guys you work with, to the power of disgusting… It’s gotta be like a porta-john.

AB: Practically.

Brooke: I’d never pee.

AB: You know that’s all we had in Iraq, right? Porta-johns? In hundred-plus degree heat?

Brooke: I’d never pee.

AB: You’d die.

Brooke: Better than peeing.

AB: You’re truly bizarre.

Brooke: OR! I’d wear DIAPERS!

AB: …….

Brooke: YES! Except that I’d totally ruin the element of surprise when we were out on a patrol because you could hear my pants crinkling as I walked. Swish swish swish….

AB: (loses it laughing)

Brooke: Then they’d send me home for being a terrible asset to the military.

AB: Major, wow! I’m a big kid now!

Brooke: Thank you for that.

(End Scene.)

*- No, seriously. It requires a diagram. And the fact that there should be at least one stall separating women if at all possible. **

**- the Powerpoint may be an exaggeration

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3 thoughts on “Scenes From the Bedroom: The Fact That This is Only Funny to Us Doesn’t Make Me Want to Post it Less.

  1. Is it really too much to ask for a little privacy? I’m one who opts for full length doors – real doors. I’m thinking like water closets. This only being because my office had at least half an inch* of space between the wall and the door. Unlike other bathrooms where you look for feet to see if occupied, ours you can basically look in. Stellar, I know.

    *I may be exaggerating by tenths of an inch.

  2. I never did understand why, out of alllll the stalls available in the ladies room, people have to pick the one that’s right next to me.

    Comforting to know I’m not the only one.

    • THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.
      I think we need a support group.

      Today, it happened to me not once, but twice. Someone came in, sat beside me, and then someone sat on the other side. When there were 4. other. stalls. to. choose.

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