TxtingMrDarcy Reads: ARE WE THERE YET?! Edition

Plot Summary:

SEX.

SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.

Haha, jus’ kiddin’.

Plot Summary (From Amazon) :

Daunted by the singular tastes and dark secrets of the beautiful, tormented young entrepreneur Christian Grey, Anastasia Steele has broken off their relationship to start a new career with a Seattle publishing house. 
 
But desire for Christian still dominates her every waking thought, and when he proposes a new arrangement, Anastasia cannot resist. They rekindle their searing sensual affair, and Anastasia learns more about the harrowing past of her damaged, driven and demanding Fifty Shades.
 
While Christian wrestles with his inner demons, Anastasia must confront the anger and envy of the women who came before her, and make the most important decision of her life.

**WARNING- This Review is R-Rated. **

Talk about a lackluster follow-up.

I was rolling my eyes so hard by the end of this book, it’s a wonder they didn’t stick that way.  Christian and Ana fight over some misunderstanding, have makeup sex, talk, fight about something they talked about, have makeup sex, lather, rinse, repeat. Ana’s insecurities started driving me crazy, and some of Christian’s control freak tendencies really got on my nerves.

There’s still plenty of sex, in plenty of locations, but in this case EL James’ inexperience as an author really stands out. She uses the same similes over and over- Christian is like a Greek God, She’s curled up to him like a vine… that you can start quoting them back to her. There are only so many times that you can read about Ana’s nether regions and Christian’s springing erections before you start wondering what’s on tv and if you should be reading something else instead. Or slightly wish that one of said erections would smack Ana in the face.

OH AND PS. Who loves giving men oral sex that much!?!?

There are a couple of plot threads running through the book- we explore a bit more of Christian’s issues, and get to meet the infamous Elena (aka Mrs Robinson) who is still far too interested in Christian and subsequently Ana. Another of Christian’s subs is mentally unhinged and running around Seattle with a gun, and Ana’s boss turns out to be a total sleazeball. Fortunately, Christian has bought the company in a fit of overprotectiveness, and is able to can the guy. And look! Ana somehow gets to take his position despite being about two hours out of  college!

This book is the textbook example of  my recent point regarding the second book in a trilogy. Authors need to deliver something good, not use the story as a vehicle to get us from point A to point C.

Two out of Five Crazy Exes.

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